“Ooooo Dada… Look at the lady in that car!”
No kiddo, I have to keep my eyes on the road.
“Okay… But she’d be a pretty girlfriend… You used to have one, remember?”
Yes, I remember…
“You actually had two!!! But they broke up with you…”
Yeah… I know… Thanks for the reminder.
“You’re welcome Dada, I know you don’t remember things since you’re old.”
X: “Momma, you forgot to wash my sheets today and I leaked through my pull up last night!”
Me: “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”
X: “Ok, I’ll just sleep in my own filth then.”
Me: trying not to laugh, “Maybe you should learn to get up to go potty then, huh?”
Me: “Do you want a bite of steak?”
Xander: “Yes please! Is it a porterhouse?”
Xander: “I love my mom more than any of the other girls in my family.”
Xander, “Because she’s not as wrinkley as the other girls in my family.”
Me: *dying laughing* Thanks buddy.
Orders bacon at the restaurant: “I love bacon! It’s my favorite pig food!”
“I tried it at my dad’s. It tastes like flaming barf.”
“Look, momma! I made my hair all nice and brushed my teeth really good so Dominica will really want to date me when we’re older “😂 How old is this kid even?! 😂