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Helping his dad

“Ooooo Dada… Look at the lady in that car!”

No kiddo, I have to keep my eyes on the road.

“Okay… But she’d be a pretty girlfriend… You used to have one, remember?”

Yes, I remember…

“You actually had two!!! But they broke up with you…”

Yeah… I know… Thanks for the reminder.

“You’re welcome Dada, I know you don’t remember things since you’re old.”

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Sheets

X: “Momma, you forgot to wash my sheets today and I leaked through my pull up last night!”

Me: “I’m sorry. I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

X: “Ok, I’ll just sleep in my own filth then.”

Me: trying not to laugh, “Maybe you should learn to get up to go potty then, huh?”

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Loves momma

Xander: “I love my mom more than any of the other girls in my family.”

Brandon: “Why?”

Xander, “Because she’s not as wrinkley as the other girls in my family.”

Me: *dying laughing* Thanks buddy.

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Girlfriend

“Look, momma! I made my hair all nice and brushed my teeth really good so Dominica will really want to date me when we’re older “😂 How old is this kid even?! 😂